Harry Potters and the Order of the Free Knicks

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: David Yates.
I saw this film at 2pm on a Sunday afternoon. Actually, it only started at 2:40pm after what seemed like hours glued in front of a telly stuck on an advertisement loop where every 5th advert is for the same car with stupid dolls running around trying to get it back. Renault clio your media people really suck.
As did the movie. I have read all the harry potter books so far and liked them, I really enjoyed reading the last one; I read it on my honeymoon. Lots of bedroom action there obviously, NOT. Anyways, the first couple of movies were good too- good special effects like of the narrowing bus, diagon alley etc. But this 4th (?) movie was so ‘Americanized’ (apologies to Americans, the film was worse) that I made vomitting handsigns in the cinema to Co. Wooden acting too, I knew within the first 10 minutes that the film was not going to get any better. But what about Gary Oldman, I hear you pitter patter, what about Alan Rickman and Robbie Coltrane? Yes yes, fine actors, but not much they can do to lift a film when they’re only in it for 5 minutes in total with around 20 words to say.
Towards the end when Harry is fighting Voldermort, he says ‘You’ll never experience friendship, you’ll never experience love, I feel sorry for you”. What a load of mindless drivel, this film is for wee girls and boys who get their emotional cues from paris hilton. Ach go fuck yerselves.

In addition: wooden acting and no build up of suspense. the dementors were in it for 10 seconds, it shoulda been scary and wasnt, the giant and other special effects were shite, and I am gonny boycott Warner Bros for the time being til they release a good film. fannies.


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