Blah Blah Blah

Feeling low again today, like I’m going through the motions. I have no drive to even talk to anyone or walk or breathe or whatever. I’m just so tired. It’s because I keep thinking stupid thoughts and arguing with myself and it’s not a good use of time or energy. Looked up some of the stuff ck did today cos I was feeling self destructive. It’s got nothing to do with me but still makes me feel fucked up, just wanted to wallow even further. I don’t know why I am feeling like this, it’s just loads of wee things (see previous post) that are coming together and doing my head in. H said she felt like machining people but to me i’d rather stab them- the feeling must be much more rewarding, although less efficient, than gunning them down. blah blah blah i talk for the sake of it. i moan for the sake of it. I can feel the happy part of me is still there in my head but it’s just hard to get to. i think I sound like a fucking teenager in these posts- “woe is me- oh life is against me! life owes me something! ” i just want to get wasted and hang out in a house on my own for 2 weeks and not see anyone and forget they all exist. listening to ballboy: club anthems. and arcade fire: funeral. rock on.


2 thoughts on “Blah Blah Blah

  1. Hey from the dark city of Göteborg, Sweden! It’s just probably the weather that makes you feel so low. Here in Sweden, people call it “autumn depression” or something like that. A warm cup of chocolate drink is said to be a wonderful cure! Try that! 🙂

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