oh and when I was home i found old diaries of mine- written from when I was 8 til I was 16, so so so so so funny, and weird, and mental, I dont seem to have changed all that much, the smell of one of them brought back loads of memories, they hold my life from when I was younger, it is strange how much drama I felt at that age, how things affected me much more. Ahh, high school, and other kids in high school, and parents and siblings in high school, how i really despised and really loved a lot of it, how i was so so insecure and nervous but confident in other areas.
One book had at the start two headings with names underneath. One “My best friend is…” followed by gemma, then scored out, followed by sophie, then scored out, followed by rachel, then scored out, followed by gemma again, scored out… and so it goes on til at the bottom in capital letters and exclamation marks it said NO ONE!!!
beside it was the heading “Who I fancy…” with duncan, scored out, followed by david, scored out, folloed by duncan again… and so it goes on. I think I was 11 when I wrote it.
One page in the same diary at the top was written PRIORITIES followed by a little flow diagram, that went like this
– Get a boyfriend -> buy cool clothes -> shave -> grow bigger breasts -> start my period -> (back to get a boyfriend)
i laughed so much when I read this, but I remember at that age writing it and probably feeling really frustrated at not having a boyfriend and not being ‘cool’ and jealous of all the girls that had hit puberty. If i could go back to that age now I’d tell myself to not worry about it, the boys I fancied are probably all still working in tescos now and what they and the other girls think doesnt really matter, that those sorts of things dont really matter, and just enjoy being young. but so much of the time I felt frustrated and angry, but I guess that’s growing up for you.
When I told my boyfriend this entry from my diary in 1994/5 he said that yeah, I had a point, cos that’s what he looked for in a girlfriend, that they had started their period… hahahaha! I almost pissed myself.
hope you had a good laugh too, I brought one diary down with me from 1996(I brought it because that year I was given two day-by-day diaries and I wrote exactly the same in each every day, because I was a mentalist even then, and so it is not as irreplaceable as the others. also i think because I only had an inch to write every day rather than pages here and there (as in other diaries, which are more interesting) and also not much happened in 1996 i dont think, i can lend it to my friend to read without being too mortified… when she gives it back to me i’ll post some more entries here. hahahaha