5 hrs ago I had a raging headache and had been crying and felt like crap. I feel OK now on my sofa with a hot water bottle and a wooly hat and socks on, a duvet and having just eaten macaroni cheese and chocolate cornflake thingies. Slept a bit too.
at work today spoke to quite a few people getting lots of different advice- Miltos, Robert, Hugh, Peter and friends… not sure what is the right thing.
think I am going to try to suspend/defer my status now. both hugh and peter say I dont have to pay money back. Miltos says I can work with someone else, not Jane, and do other work, learn more skills, new project, whatever I want.
felt bad today cos robert told me I should apologise to jane an be a bigger person than her as I have got her back up (from yesterday, standing up for myself) robert says jane thinks I went in all guns blazing and aggressive… I just felt I stood up for myself for once… disagreeing with jane, is that being agressive?
anyways, I like robert and respect him for a lot of reasons, so I do feel like maybe I should apologise, but then again will that go back on my self esteem? it took me so long and ranting on this blog to just stand up to her a little bit, but maybe it does make me a bigger person if i can aplologise? but then I think what if it isn’t a good thing, and it will just mess my mind up more? woah so many things, but just trying to relax. went for another run got absolutely soaked, and had to go to bed afterwards, but feel good now.
Hope everyone reading this is well and having fun wherever they are xx