So work is going well. today we had cake. what more can you ask for? and they make cups of tea every 1.5 hrs. and they lock the office at 5 so I was the only one left at 5.15. Also I start at 830 but nobody else arrives til 9. and we get an hour for lunch. and did I say we finish on Friday at 4pm? and we get weekends OFF! infact in my introductory hand book it says it is highly DISCOURAGED! and we are not ALLOWED to work after 645 during the week or 545 on fridays. I am going to enoy not feeling guilty for a bit….
The people are nice but mostly 45+ women who like gossiping. It’s good but it does make me think about some things I like in a job- e.g. I like moving around rather than sitting on my ass infront of a computer all day. And I like learning and being challenged. But it is also so nice not feeling guilty, and having really friendly not competetive colleagues. Although I miss people on the same wavelength to argue with and talk about random crap such as who would win in a fight between mick jagger and david bowie? It is nice to relax for a bit. And nice doing something you feel is worthwhile, and nice being busy.
I’m working in the Child Protection Unit of Oxford County Council. It is difficult and you have to deal with some terrible situations- if you ever think you are a bad parent you are not even CLOSE to the league most of these guys are in- but you also feel like you could be helping even in a tiny way. I thought I was going to be in the educational liason division on cricket road but I was called on Friday night and told of my new placement. I’m covering a woman’s maternity leave. And I’m working above blockbuster’s on cowley rd which makes it quite convenient and central!
so all is good so far, I am just enjoying finishing at 5 so much… with weekends off… I am home at 520 and dont feel guilty! then there is so much to do in the evening! it’s great!
I’m looking forward to my confidence and esteem improving, I already feel much better not dealing with Jane and no-one here makes me feel bad (yet!). It makes a lot of difference- I look forward to going to work! And I just feel good, I can’t emphasise enough how different it is to not have someone fucking with your head or putting you down… even the last day i saw her she said to me that the reason I like voluntary work is because people tell me immediately that I am good or that I get instant praise whereas I cant stick science because you dont have instant praise. I disagree, when I am doing volunteering often no-one says thank you or you’re great, quite often you get abused! but you feel good about yourself as you may have, even slightly, improved someone’s feeling or helped them out. and this self- reward makes me feel good. not praise from others, although it is nice to have some now and again and it is definitely bad to never have any. before I would have thought maybe Jane’s opinion was valid but now I just think that it is some sort of weird fucked up thing in her head and some sort of power struggle and in some weird way she likes putting me down. Maybe she was scared I might one day turn out OK and she wants to reassure herself I’m nothing like her? I don’t know…. who cares!
MTW I know you secretly read my blog so lets hope you really are reading it secretly and other previous lab people dont. remember that in reading this blog you are agreeing to not sue my ass off and I am not liable for any harm caused to yourself or to others. Anybody (including myself) in this blog is purely fictional and not based on any really person. so there. go ask your mother.
Ok I’m tired but loving being busy and not moping around. Oh, and did I say, C IS COMING HOME IN 2 WEEKS! 2 WEEKS TOMORROW! CANNY WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!