Went for a run tonight with my friend up round Iffley lock, it was nice running in daylight- spring is on its way. Still freezing though! went to GnDs after and had bagel pizza melt. Was going to have some icecream but ran out of time, chatting too much and friend had to run for bus. It’s Ok, got some creme eggs on the way home though 😉
Cleared out stuff from work at the weekend and in my locker had stuff left from when I moved out from my husband last year. Wedding video, photos, emails, postcards, my diary etc. Went through some of it with my friend. It was good just to share and not just throw away without thinking, almost like you’re scared of it. I showed her who people were and read out stuff from my diary, let her read the emails and talked about it. It was good to say that was me then but this is me now. If I was there now I would do everything differently but hindsight is always easy… but those experiences made me who I am now. I’m over it, I have been for quite a while, but it was good just to explain what happened to someone now, without getting emotional, like just telling a story about things that happened in my life. My friend said it’s good to talk about things, lets them move on, like a sort of purge. It was nice just to talk about it easily and not be scared to hurt people. One day i’ll talk more about it with C, but I don’t think it would be so helpful to talk about it for no reason. I’ve talked about it before and dont think i need to remind him feelings I had before, but I’m sure one day we’ll talk more about it, probably sooner rather than later.
Put everything in the bin outside GnDs afterwards, my friend asked if i felt better, I said it’s already been over for a long time, I’ve already got rid of it in my head. Throwing the stuff in the bin doesn’t make that much difference, I had forgotten I still had all that stuff really, I guess it does feel nice not to have it around though.
Really excited about C coming home, gonny buy hairclips to sort my hair that I cut short (I always get annoyed when I get it short, but when I grow it I always think it’s a good idea to cut it…!) and maybe exchange the shoes to the original ones I want. One day i’ll have enough money to buy 2 pairs of shoes but right now I’ll go on being indecisive, or really just spend ages making sure I make the right decision and get the best for my money!
You can take the girl out of Scotland…