I was feeling a bit low this morning too as I saw an old blog of mine that I made with my ex-husband of all the trips we made. he’s deleted every photo of me off there. I dont mind, i deleted all photos of him and removed him as a freind on facebook etc within a week of moving out. It just fucks with my head that I hate someone I once loved. Actually I dont think i hate him, I just wonder how I ever liked him or fancied him and I feel like I must have been actually insane- was that really me? It’s a bit scary to not really know what was going on and how I changed so much- I think of boys i went out with at school and I would never go out with them now, but I understand why I went out with them at the time. With my ex i almost feel physically sick thinking I was with him, it’s just so weird and I want to forget it happened without really forgetting it made me who i am now which i’m grateful for.
Working with people in dodgy relationships and messed up families all day long does get you thinking, how much they make their situation or are a product of their upbringing or whether some people are just unlucky? You learn a lot and my views on some things have changed, i think i am getting even less tolerant and more harsh in my thinking!
I am just finding it weird comprehending a face I once liked to look at, now I shudder a bit when i see it. Is this crazy?
Anways, like a wise man says, “all relationships fail until one doesn’t. So stop obsessing and get to work!”. So that’s what I’ll do.
Also I sent C a message saying I missed him and he sent me this song by Soko called ‘ I will never love you more’. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfDvxCPjJBQ&feature=related it’s a nice song, huh?
[hopefully edit this post when my computer will let me add links and pics, damn crappy windows 2000 professional!]