So I’m deleting most of this post, as sometimes I’m even too crazy for me, and I don’t like to remind myself. But I’ll leave the comments. I like them.
Finally, 30 mins to myself at home with my lap top AND THE INTERNET. yep, BT lucked in and talktalk lucked out. Or were indeed so outrageously incompetent I, a native of Scotland, went with the more expensive service.
So now I’m back in the blogging sphere. I like to share my craziness with most of the world but I like to think I limit it a bit about those who might take it personally.
Had an interview this afternoon but wont say more til find out tomorrow. Unless I didn’t get it then I will never speak of it ever, ever again and will probably hate anyone i ever meet who had a similar job. so there.
Feel kinda low at the moment, think because I don’t have a plan. I don’t know where I’m going, what the point is so to speak. I’ve always had a plan, and now I don’t. Where will I be in 5 years? ain’t a duck in a graveyard’s clue. Then I feel bad about myself cos I judge myself harshly, I cant help feeling inadequate or not quite as good as others i meet. then i don’t see my friends often and i start to think they canny be arsed with me. I just get all neurotic and paranoid and dead insecure. DELETING THIS POST-
and do you think I could explain this whole sorry going-ons in my head? NO! I sound like a total nutter. which I am. but I wanted to be able to explain that to someone, and this blog allows me to ‘let out the crazy’. so sorry about that, but I hope I can ‘let out the crazy’ here and then go on my way.
I know I gotta stop being insecure and be confident in myself but I dont feel good about myself at the moment. I feel like some other numpty on the street that just rolls along doing a piss-poor job with no plan, no ambition, no gumption. and I don’t like it.
OK, off to a cycle class at the gym to burn some crazy off. night xxx