Sad

Sad about my pals from my current town, think perhaps they arent as good pals as I think they are.

I feel sad that for my birthday one sent me a card and one gave me a card. No-one else. No presents. No cake. I feel sad because every year for these good pals I’ve helped organise something, given presents, cooked cake. It might sound like it’s about money but it’s not. I just want my friend to care. Like here’s a poem I wrote or some flowers I picked or can I get you a drink or we made this silly vid singing happy birthday. When I see them organising surprise birthday parties for others… I feel like I’m not cool enough or that they don’t want to invest in my friendship as we are moving cities soon, or that they don’t really care. The thing is I often have them for dinner, brunch, tea; organise things for my course, and I don’t feel the love back. This makes me sad.

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