Downloaded the WordPress app… Will see if this works!
What is important to me in a job?
I want a job where I’m not sat at a desk from 9-5 making trips to the vending machine just to get away from the computer. I do not want to be bored, fat and thus depressed.
I like being active, I like physical work.
I don’t like working where I can’t be myself.
I don’t like having to do a lot of work outside my paid hours. I don’t like having to worry a lot about my work when I am not there.
I don’t mind long hours if I am getting paid for them.
I do like doing something that I think might be helping others.
I do like working as part of a team.
I like wearing a uniform.
I’ve been trying to do things that scare me, as once you do them your comfort zone gets that little bit bigger…
No8 was get a tattoo
I never knew how sweet pain could be til then. 5 hours, only a ten minute break, no pain killers, but BOY did it feel good. Except for the last 40 minutes which were agony. But I love having something etched on my skin, which no-one else has. I love the indelible artwork. I love the process of being tattooed. I love the ritual nature of the procedure. I want more.
Do something scary no9 was go on a ‘flirting safari’. Sounds stupid but came about because i had originally signed up with friends, and ended up going by myself to London, but was good. I can talk to just about anyone, unless it has something to do with me and my feelings and i have the chance of being hurt. Playing the fool is good because then if someone doesnt like you, well it wasnt really you.
So on this safari we talked about how to talk to guys and then we were made to go out in Selfridges and talk to them, talk to all different sorts of people and talk to them about their personal life, get to know them, etc etc. It was scary but cool and I actually chatted to someone nice and we exchanged FB details then numbers. I am not sure if I exactly like him in that way, but just to know it is possible, and that humans arent that scary, is pretty good.
Just got asked what I want from life and this was my response:
“I wanna live life to the fullest, i wanna see different sights, try new experiences; i’d like to try to give something back to society, want to not make too much of a negative impact on the world, want to be a good person, want to make other people smile… I’m a naiive idealist but I like being so. There’s a long time to be jaded and bitter so I’d rather laugh and get on with having fun!”
Just back from a long weekend at home. Nice to get fresh air and soft water, see mountains and the sea and hug my family. Its strange with my mum tho, she is like a child and gets stroppy if i want to see othet family or disagree with her, she never hugs me or kisses me, i always have to do it to her, an if i didnt she would take offence. I called her now to tell her i got home safely. “night night mum, love you, bye” i say. “will speak to you another time” is all she says. And i feel like she does it on purpose- she had a long drive back after dropping us at the airport, and somehow that has made her annoyed with me, like a child. Sigh. Sometimes i want to go home and have a mum who gives you a hug and says it will all be ok and thinks youre great, rather than a mum who finds you annoying and likes your sister better. 😦
the truth is that everyone will hurt you, its the matter of finding the ones worth the suffering. – Bob Marley
I’ve just re-read an old Yes and Yes post that I had in my favourites:
I also have the fear that I might wake up when I am 40 and think “what happened to my life?”
I want to take risks and live life to the full and jump at opportunities and experience different things and see new sights and have tried and failed and have tried and succeeded and know that it’s the fact I tried that mattered.